From Political Asylum to Plant Medicine | Atlana Groys's Incredible Story

We're recording. Yes. Evlana, welcome to the show. Wow. Thank you, Jason. You're welcome. So happy to have you here. So the way we kick these things off, when I have, you know, someone on the show that I'm interviewing, um, because obviously this is a podcast about medicine, I wanna know the events in your life that ended up bringing you to the medicine. How did you find this path? Through my depression and, um, addiction And then, so tell me about that. What led you to depression and addiction? So to answer you to that question, I have to start a little bit early about my life. Okay. So I am from Kazakhstan, um, but, uh, I'm Russian, and I was born and raised in Kazakhstan, and I was working hard from fifteen. At my sixteen, I opened my first business. At my twenties, I opened my second business. And, um, at my twenty-one, I opened the business of my dream, uh, which I was building with, um,

full dedication. It was full of my heart and working hard all day long, and I build like an empire in my country. And what was your business? So it was a company, um, which sellings-- which was selling cosmetics, professional cosmetics for beauty salons, for spa center. And, uh, I had a medical degree in my country to operate all of the stuff, and, uh, I was teaching people how to do facials, how to do massage, and how to do injections for face. Okay. Like an aesthetician. Like an aesthetician plus med spa. Gotcha. And I had, uh, two spots in my city, uh, in the capital of Kazakhstan. Uh, and my clients was like top people, like, uh, president's wife, I was her personal aesthetician. Oh, wow. And plus all of this, my company and, uh, three offices in the different cities. So it was kind of big business that time. And I spent seven years to build that. And you were doing this by yourself? And

I was doing it by myself till some moment when my company was, uh, grow so fast and so big, I need like, uh, some investors to put it to the next level, and I invite my best friend that time. He bought a part of my company and become my partner. Okay. That's why all the later situation happened with me. So because he was a political person in my country, and one day when company was huge and make so much money, he decided to take the whole company. And he made a problem for me because I have been a director of that company and everywhere was my sign, and he was a lawyer for that company, plus he had, um, power of government. So you started the company all by yourself. It was your company. Yes. And as you're bringing in investors, then you bring in this business partner who is a political person, and then after so long, he decided that he wanted to take

the company from you? Yes. Okay. Because he was much older than me, much experienced, plus professional with documents, plus his power in the country was huge. And when all of that problem started, I hired Three lawyers and no one cannot to help me to fight with him in the court, and, um, seeing stuff really not safe for me that I have to leave the country. Wow, so it became so unsafe- It did that you had to, like political asylum. Yeah, that's my documents in United States by political asylum, and I just- Oh my God recently get, get green card after eight years waiting. Wow. So you decided... Why the US? Why did you come to the US? Because that time in my passport I have, um, only one active visa, which was US. I have been here before because I also was represent in Kazakhstan some American brands- Mm-hmm of cosmetics, and I study here, and that's why I had a visa before, and that

visa helped me to come back here and ask political asylum. So did you at least have money to come here with? No, Jason, that time when all of this happened, um, all my accounts was blocked. Uh, and, um, the place where I live was also arrested, and I had no money. My friend bought a ticket for me, and I had 300 bucks. So they were gonna put you in prison. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I would... I should, uh, choose at that time, even, even if I stay in, in Kazakhstan and will fight with him till the end, and maybe I won't, uh, win, and then I should go to prison for three years, or- But he's already in the political arena, so winning for you wasn't likely. Wasn't at all. So you had to run. I had to run. And then one day, I lost everything what I was building seven years. Wow. And that situation put me not in a such good place. And I left

my country, I left my family, my story, all of my dreams, and all of material life which I used to have. That had to be so scary. Yes. And I came to US. So not even family could come with you? No one. Mm-mm. Okay. And I came alone to US. Where did you land in the US? Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Because when I was looking for a place to live, some of my friend told me that they know someone in Los Angeles, and that person maybe can help me to find a home and car for the first time. And only one person was, uh, contact which I had from US. It was from Los Angeles, some Russian girl. That's why I came to LA. I had 300 bucks, no language, no documents. So you didn't, you didn't speak English? Not at all. And this was how long ago? Eight years ago. Eight years, okay. So I learned English here.

And then it, it crushed me. It just crushed me totally because it was everything I have. I never dreamed to leave my country. I was loving my country with all of my heart. And I was building my empire, and I was dreaming that one day I don't need to work because everything fine in my life. And I travel around the world. I study in Europe and Japan by my professional staff of k- esthetician and cosmetology. And lost it in one day was a big, big day for me. And I got depressed, and I lost myself, um, in new country, in new city, and I find myself not in a, in a good place later in the year. And, um, I got depressed first, and then, in Los Angeles I met maybe not the right peoples that time who introduced me drugs and I become- So what, what, what kind of work are you doing when you get to Los Angeles? Like how are you providing

for yourself? Oh my God, I started from housekeeping and nana. I was living with a family and, uh, take care of their kids, and they gave me a house and food- Okay till I got my documents. And, uh, also I was working to cleaning Airbnb apartments, and also I was, um, taking any, any job I can- Mm-hmm just survive, just pay for my rent and pay for my food. And as soon I, and as soon as I get my documents, uh, it's allow me to work, and I started to work as a model. Oh, wow. So how, how did you get introduced to modeling? So I met some, uh, person during my housekeeping work, and he recommend me to make some portfolio photos. And because I'm in Los Angeles, everyone an actress and model- Mm-hmm and try to go and get better work because that work can pay really well money. And it was true. I made my beautiful portfolio, and I started to work

with agency, and I started to make money. But at the same time, I come, uh, to the party company of all of this Hollywood Party, party. Yeah. Party company of the Hollywood and modeling. And- But this, was this exciting? Because for many young women, modeling is a dream to do. In the beginning, you can imagine how excited I was. And I get six, uh, jour- six magazine covers- Wow with my face, my body. Wow. And inside of the magazines I had some articles and shorts and, um, I, I was really successful with modeling. Uh, I made good money. I was really paying well that time before COVID. It was before COVID. Before COVID. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But all of that work make me, uh, crazy and, uh, put me not to the right spot because in Kazakhstan I make money differently by my mind, by my knowledges. Here is just my appearance. So do, did you feel like you were always, um,

almost like you're having to set yourself up to be criticized? You're always performing, trying to get the job or to get the shot or to... Like why, why was it, why was it hard? Why did it not feel good? Because it's like a big competition, and for a woman psyche, when it's competition and you have to be beautiful, you have to impress people, you have to take care of yourself, some, some specific lifestyle you have to do on Instagram and all of this, mm, m-modern stuff- Mm-hmm um, put me to the place where I started don't like myself and, um, judge myself and think if I'm better than others. So a lot of trauma show up that time, which also maybe was triggered by me moving to new country, no language, no monies, and somehow I started to make it in a way I can. And I was just, uh, looking for-- to come back to the same level I have been in Kazakhstan to

my material comfort And I started to study esthetician here to continue my stuff. So, and a lot of, a lot-- It just was overwhelmed to paying rent, to make money, to grow, to be successful with a job. It was just so much, and don't see my family, and all of this language stuff, and, um, it's just a lot. So you enjoyed the lifestyle for a while. You're, you're getting to... At first, it's fun. You're doing these photo shoots. You're getting invited to parties. You're starting to experience the party lifestyle, but then it starts to feel depressing. You're not feeling good about it. Yes. Uh, I was, uh, all my life, because I'm from pure, poor, poor family, I was looking for-- to make a lot of money and be successful. And when I come here and started to be in that modeling world, I started to see that successful life around me- Mm-hmm which wasn't, uh, really s- really what I imagined. All of that,

uh, luxury, all of that yacht, all of that shorts, all of that brands, all of that party in Hollywood Hills. When I come inside of that stuff, I realized that it's not the happiness I wanted. But at the same time, my mind was telling me, "No, that what you was growing for. That what you was looking for." And when I was around that, I just realized that all people broken, not happy, trying to fight each other, argue with each other, be better than others, and no any connection there. So you began to understand the level of success you thought you wanted wasn't actually making you happy? Yes. And from there, I become depressed because it's like, like, and let's connect. So I lost everything in Kazakhstan. I started from ground zero. Was hard to let it go, the past. And then, plus, I started be successful in new field, but at the same time, I realized that money is not happiness. Mm. And then I

was lost between two worlds. So what the happiness is, and then depression got me fully. Mm-hmm. So when you were experiencing depression, what, what was this like? Were-- Did you, did you feel sad? Did you feel tired? You didn't wanna go to work? Like, what, what, what were the symptoms you were experiencing? It was even hard to brush my teeth and wash my face, and even go to restroom, it was like a big deal. So y- y- you just had no desire for life? No desire. I was just tired, sleeping, resting, crying. Um-

And also drinking. So I add to depression alcohol and plus drugs, and all of this together make- Is this kinda from the party lifestyle? Yeah, the drugs from the party lifestyle. And then what, what drugs? Cocaine. Cocaine. It... I feel like that's pretty common with modeling and, and Hollywood, and like that's, that's like the party drug that most people kinda turn to. It just everywhere, like, uh, to drink of water. Wow. It just everywhere. Yeah, yeah. And before US I never experience that, and here it's happened. And in a year of that I find myself such in a darkness spot, and I just realize I don't have here no one. I don't have friends. I don't have family. I have to figure it out and pull me- pull myself out from that place because I just realize, oh my God, I need help. Now, while you're going through the depression, are, are you feeling like you're developing an addiction to the drugs? Or was it

just there? It was already there. It's all together- Mm-hmm connected. Just all of it. And also my depression came to me because I had some struggling in my job. Some cl- I was... I had, I had some court with a client which was, mm, scare me so much, and I paid so much money to lawyer, and it was long process. And all together just was a lot for me- Mm-hmm in new country. And that's how I lost myself, and I lost connection with my inner voice and my dreams, and I just lost all direction in my life. I don't know what I want because before I was think about success. Then I saw a bit of success, and I just... That's not what I want. But new way, I didn't know how do I want differently. Mm-hmm. And then it was my point of, um-

The, the, my point of, um, nothing in life interesting. Like, like it, it just felt hopeless. Yeah. Like there's- there's successes in what you thought it was. Money doesn't make you happy. You're in a new country, no family, and you're just... Nothing feels like it's supposed to. Yeah, and also I feels that I cannot to come back home, and I hate my job. I just cannot to do it anymore. I'm exhausted. Nothing was inspired me in life. I just... I, I even don't want to wake up. Mm. I don't have a reason to wake up and live my life, and it was on and on, on and on every day. So- that's a very hard place to be because sometimes we can't see the way out. So- Yeah where do we go from there? Like, how did we begin to get out of this depression? Yes, and from there

Um, I become, I come to the stage where I have to first let go of my past from my Kazakhstan because I was regret myself and cannot forgive myself. And inside of me, I feel that I lost everything. So I'm in the point of zero, and somehow I have to let it go. And, um, I cannot. I stay holding that pressure and stuff. And, um, some friends told me about mushrooms, that I have to try it, can help me with all of my situations. So I, I heard that from some people, and I heard about ayahuasca from the first day I come to US, but all of this stuff was scaring me. Mm-hmm. I wasn't believe at all. I feel it's same drugs, just a different type. Mm-hmm. I didn't know the difference at time between psychedelics and drugs, so I, I was not educated about it at all because in Kazakhstan it's not popular. So mushrooms were the first psychedelic you were introduced to?

Yes. Tell us about that. Uh, my first experience was from the beginning, magical. From the first experience, I realize a lot, and medicine was really kind and gentle and, uh- Do you remember how much you took? Yes. Two grams. And were you by yourself or someone was with you? I was with my friend who sit with me, who decided to help me for the first time to show me how to do that because I didn't know at all. Mm-hmm. Okay. And, um, two grams of mushroom.

And I will never forget my first journey because that journey showed me my death if I will continue live my life how I was living, and that death was young death. Death. Mm-hmm. Death. Yeah. Yeah. And then psych... And then mushroom showed me my another death in the oldest age. And I ask that time the medicine what that means, so I, I can die at younger stage and older stage, what that means. And medicine show me the whole picture in the kind of video of one minute of my life, how I'm living my life, how, how I living my life, how I do the drug stuff and party stuff and alcohol and, uh, all of my bad routine. And if I will continue to do like that and live life like that, I will finish soon in the youngest age. And then, uh, mushroom showed me my death in the oldest ages when I'm, uh, totally grand, grand, grandma. Mm-hmm. Uh, and, uh, I don't

know, that time it was my first time with any psychedelics, but somehow I know how to communicate with medicine. Mm-hmm. So I understand the language of the medicine, and, uh, that experience was magical for me. After that death, which I saw, mushroom showed me the whole, um, universe and every soul around without any time. So in the journey, what I experienced was like a space without endless, just a, a, just a s- just a space with a lot of dots, like stars, which was all the souls of the people, and it wasn't time past the future. And now it was just all one time, all alive people, all people who are living with now-- life now, and all people who will come later. So we're all together, and I come to that spot, and I can communicate with every soul I wanted without any language, by feelings, by sensation, and by some inner voice. And that was beautiful because I got connected with people who

I loved, who I missed, and I just realized life fully and deeply from that experience so much. And, um, after that, when I landed, my first question to my friend was, "When can I try it again?" "Let's do it again." And from that point next, uh, half year, maybe three, maybe four months with some breaks, every weekend was my psychedelic journey with mushroom, like my own personal psychologist. And was this-- So what was this beginning to do for your depression? That's how I helped myself to get out from there without any antidepressant. Did you start to feel better following the mushroom ceremonies? I, I started, yeah. It was hard in the beginning. Maybe first months I was crying as a crazy every time, every day, um, because I realized so much trauma in my life. So much, uh, which I have to digest and integrate, and that time I don't have anyone to explain me what the integration is- Mm-hmm how to lend it all

of that information to my real life. I just was going back, um, to mushroom every time because that time I feel home and I feel safe and I feel love and I feel all of these beautiful feelings which depression didn't, didn't allow me to feel. And that time I was just coming back to that place like to my home of my soul to a bit rest and be happy and loved and held. Mm-hmm. And, uh, then later Takes me maybe three, four months, I become to feel better and I started to change my life. My food, my day, my routine, my practice, and my movement with my body. And, and I stopped to drink alcohol, um, when I met mushroom So no alcohol, and I stopped to do drugs. It was best what I get from psychedelics, so to stop my addiction. It wasn't so much, uh, but it was bothering me. Mm-hmm. Because if I would go to some event and I know that

it will be some good stuff here, I would be excited. Mm-hmm. Is that what I don't like, that I feel okay, um, tied with that. So it stopped and I changed my all surround of people. I changed my community. Slowly, slowly, step by step, I started to change a lot. And after mushroom, ayahuasca happened with me. Yeah, because the, the mushrooms were your first psychedelic. And for many, you know, when, when the medicines speak to them so beautifully like it did you, it opens up this whole new world that we weren't aware of. Like there's mushrooms, but then we start finding out about- other medicines. So we get really curious about what else is out there. Did you feel like that was kind of the case for you? Yes. When I get to know mushrooms, I found a podcast on- on YouTube. Some Russian woman who was, um, older stage, uh, like, uh, sixty-five, and she run her podcast for people to knowledge them about

psychedelics and how work with them. And it was a blessing for me to find her channel that time because I don't have anyone to tell me something about it. And, and by her podcast, I knew about ayahuasca, about kambo, about bufo, about sananga, hapem, and all of the medicine tools and stuff. Mm. And I started to search that, and I started to think I need to try if mushroom helped me so much. But at the same time, I feel that it's something inside of me in another layers which I have to heal, and I don't even know what it is and how to help to myself, but I felt that. Mm-hmm. Mushroom showed me some parts of me. And I also started to work with psychologist and life coach because, uh, I felt somehow I need to integrate that. Um, bec- without knowing, some feelings told me that I need to talk with someone about it. And, um, after ayahuasca happened with me, all changes

become faster and faster and faster because, um- So, so tell us about that first ayahuasca experience. Mm-hmm. 'Cause for some, ayahuasca can be very beautiful. For some, ayahuasca can be scary. Like what was your experience with ayahuasca? My first one, I talk with my friend who have done, and I don't know why she told me that, but she told me, "Do you know if you go, you can die?" And I told her, "No. No, they didn't tell me about it." "They didn't tell you about it? It could happen." And I'm like, "Okay, thank you for this before I go." And, um, I was really so much in bad place that I told to myself, "Okay, if I die, I die, but if it's help me, it's help me." Mm-hmm. That was my mood. I was 100% trust. And I went to the place, uh, my friend recommend me. Um, and after that, uh, time, I tried another spot, and I have my favorite one. Um,

it's not where I did it first time. Mm-hmm. I preferred to do my first time with people who I know now, but that time my-- what I found, that I found, and it was not bad considered to what I have now. People was playing instruments, guitar, and, um, it was, um, angels around who helped us. But I didn't, um, I didn't know what will be with me, how will it be. And, um, it was in a yurt, like 20 people around, and we were so close to each other. And I was laid down close to the door, and I can see the sky and outside stuff, so that was really magical. And when they gave me the first cup, um, I started to feel medicine. And I opened my eyes, and I was watching to that door, and I can see the energy, uh, around us, white energy and black energy outside the spot where they told us not go after that because the safe

space only here. And I remember that... te-telling us that stuff, and I was concentrated of, okay, here we safe. Outside we're not safe. And when I opened my eyes and I saw the line they told us not go over there, I saw the dark energy here, movements of that energy. And I was surprised because I, I saw it with my eyes open. And, um, then I remember that, uh, I need to go and working with myself, i-inner, with, with my inner world, with my inner stuff. And I didn't purge first night. That was my biggest fear, to purge. And the first time, ayahuasca blessed me. And all night after that vision and I close my eyes, I just was feeling that I'm on the

On the hand of the God, and I'm just laid down as like a baby, even, even if in child pose of yoga or on my side, and I was feeling like I'm just resting. So I came to that point just to rest. And my first journey was unbelievable beautiful, no any darkness spot, just light, and all of this care and love. And I was just maybe eight hours more than even ceremony finished when the shaman people leave us in the temple, and we stay just for night till the morning. I was continue my journey, and I was just feeling that I came here to rest in the hands of God. Mm. That was my first experience. Beautiful. And then how did you feel following that experience? Did, did-- Like, did, could you feel the medicine still working on you? Were you thinking about things? Were you processing things?

I believe that ayahuasca forever in my blood. Forever. And, uh, also when I wake up next morning, uh, that people was talking about integration and how to continue dieta. And my only question was, I heard that medicine continue be in me, inside of me. My question was just how to make you stay longer. Mm-hmm. Because they told me, "Oh, all of the stuff will leaving you slowly." And they told me, "Oh, keep going, you practice dieta and la, la, la." But later, um, other people from other tribes, they told me, "Ayahuasca forever in your blood." Mm. And that's what I feel. That's what I feel, medicine every time with me, and, um- I feel, I feel like if whether...

I, I feel like experiencing ayahuasca one time, it's with you forever. Yes. It's game changer. It's- Game changer game changer, new life. And, um, after I first time experience aya, my dream become to show it to my parents because they gave me life, and I found such a beautiful stuff in this life, which I wanna share with them because they need to know. From that day I got that dream, and later on in six years I showed it to my mom. Mm. Not to my dad yet, but to my mom, and, um, it's pure magic that I can do that. Mm. Beautiful. So we've sat with mushrooms, we've sat with ayahuasca, right? We're, we're learning this whole new world. I'm assuming you're starting to feel better. You're not starting to feel as depressed. Where do we go from there? And from there my depression didn't left me yet. Okay. So I started to feel better, but my kinda tail of my depression, or- It's still

hanging on a little bit. Yes. There's some things you still haven't quite... It was like a wave. Yeah. My waves. Gotcha. Waves, like coming back, go. Coming back and go. And so, um, during one ceremony of aya I shared with, uh, peoples that I have problem with my thyroid. So I was on hormone therapy seven years. Um- Your thyroid? Thyroid, yeah. Okay. And they put you on hormone therapy? Yeah, from Kazakhstan. So I have been seven years with hormone therapy, and I was so much connected with that, um, m- medication- Mm-hmm because from that medication my mood was depended so much. So because it's L-thyroxine. And, um, also my grandma with that situation and that problem, and one day she told me, "Oh, my God, you will be forever on that, uh, medication." And, uh, one day I shared about that on ayahuasca circle because I think maybe it's contraindication I need to discuss, and they told me, "Did you try kambo?" Ah, kambo. And

I... And I'm like, "What it is?" What it is? Other stuff. Did you get excited? Yeah. I was brave enough for everything because that time I had anything to lose, Jason. I already lost everything, so nothing to lose. Yeah. Let's do kambo. Okay, let's do kambo. And from the first time the people told me, they told me about the medicine kambo which can heal my thyroid fully, and I was surprised because my doctor once told me that I will be on that medication till the end of my life. Because if you start it, you will be forever with that, so by, by their opinion. And even though you had nothing to lose, was it... When they described kambo to you, was it scary? Did you feel scared or more excited? I feel scared because I check, of course, YouTube,

What they show us. And I was really scared. I even told to my boyfriend, "Let's go with me. I won't go alone. If we will die, we will die together." And he make a company for me. We went together, sign up our first journey, and, um, I was really, uh, focused on that medicine to help me with thyroid. So I check my blood, um, test with D3 and T4 for thyroid, uh, before to go to the ceremony. A week before, I, I check my blood test. And then when I got the ceremony of kambo, I checked it again in a month because I had exact intention to heal my thyroid. Hmm. And, um, kambo helped me not only with that. Kambo healed the tail of my depression, that vibes... waves, that waves which I had- Wow which coming back and go, coming back and go. Kambo healed me fully. After kambo, I am become to the, um, to the stage of my body which I

never have been, even if my... at my 18s. But, but it healed your thyroid. Like, did you stop taking the medication? Yes. I trusted the medicine, and I stopped taking medication. In, in a month all my, um, blood stuff on that, uh, examines of blood which, which doctor checking- Mm-hmm every time every three months was normal. And, uh, my doctor asked me if I take, take the same amount or no because every three months I check that, um, numbers- Mm-hmm to know where I am now, if I need more dose or less, and the doctor gave me prescription. And by her system she just realized that I never pick up from the- pharmacy, and she asked me, "Are you continue with the same amount?" I'm like, "No, I stopped it." She like, "How? How it could happen?" Because I continued to come back every three months for a blood test but without any medication. And so- So does, does she recommend kambo to her clients

now? She's not, but she was surprised. She told me, "Oh, it's a magic I don't believe, uh, because it's unpossible with your numbers." So it was in a big dosage that time and already seven years. Then, you know, twice I felt that my thyroid had the more attention, and I just come back to kambo again and again. I felt that, that I need it. And from some point I just forgot about it till now. E- everything okay and no more Eltroxin in my morning routine. Wow. Incredible. So You've healed your thyroid. You're not taking medication. You've healed... The depression isn't coming in waves anymore. You just feel good. You feel good in your body. You feel good in your psyche. Yes, and my body become to the best shape ever. Uh, all excess water left me, and my body become even better than I was model- Wow that years ago. Um, I become so much, uh, healthy with, um, my physical self and, uh, so

much grounded and, um, just in a peaceful mind stage. So this had to feel exciting. Like, it had to feel exciting. Like, you went from building an empire in Kazakhstan to losing everything, to finding what you thought was success in modeling in America, to ending up depressed and starting to get involved in drugs and alcohol to the point where you just can't hardly get out of bed. And then you find mushrooms and ayahuasca and kambo, and now you're back. You're back in your body. You're back in your mind. You're feeling great. Like, did this start to affect the way that you thought about life, that you thought about success and what it really means to be happy? So much. I, uh, change, um, ins- I changed inside a lot, and, uh, I healed a lot of my trauma from childhood because my family was alcohol addicted, and, uh, my stepfather was killed in front of my home, and my grand- my grandpa died in front

of me because of alcohol addiction, and my mom was also addicted. So it's a, a lot of trauma, and I held, I held it inside of me so much. And I come to the point where I already in US. I tried different careers like modelings, and I tried production and, uh, to be a stylist, and I also study, um, esthetician stuff. And here I am, I found medicine. And medicine started to treat me, to heal me, and my inner child wake up. In that moment, everything changed. So I ask myself what I wanna do in this life, what I wanna create, because my inner voice come back, my center come back. So I come, I come back to myself, and I become healthy and happy person. And from that point, my inner child healed, and I started to create. Mm-hmm. I started to be an artistic person as much as I can. I started to try this, that, and from some point, I just think

about why would I surf medicine and become kamba practitioner maybe? To give people the experience that you had Yeah, because at some point my heart was so full of all of this medicine love- Mm-hmm which I wanna share with others, and I reach out to you. And you put me on hold for two years. Because you have a lion, um, so popular school, so I was waiting, and at the same time scared if I will understand the school because it's in English. And, um, such a interesting medicine work with from the frog from Peru, oh my God. Uh, and my medical degree also was inside of me talking with me like- "Uh, what are you doing? Okay. Okay, let's try." So it was a lot of trust, s- 100% trust, and I was just feeling and listening my inner voice. Mm-hmm. And, uh, one day I came to Colorado Creed. And, and so how was Gambo School? It was hard, so much. It was a

big challenge for me But I'm so happy I have done it, one of my best choice in my life. Mm. And so you go through Kambo school, and then you go back home, and you start serving? I start serving right away, next day. Wow. But during school, when I came, I just came for myself. I came for myself because li- as I told you, my, uh, thyroid bothering me twice after Kambo helped me the first time. Later, I need more Kambo because I feel that I need more ceremony to help to my body to release everything I need. And I just decided, "Okay, what if I would study for myself first, and then we'll see?" So at least I can do it for myself and don't go to any person to serve me Kambo. I can do my own ceremony. And that was my point to come to you. But during school, when we starting to serve to each other, to be so much confident

during school, it was really surprised me how I become confident with that and how I fall in love with the medicine. And my first thought was, "Oh my God, I need to show it to my mom," because every time I find something beautiful in this world, I wanna show it to my parents who showed me the life, who give me the life. And I come back, and my first client was my mom. Mm-hmm. Beautiful. How did she do? She's perfect now. She, um, she's my big, big-

Hardest, she is my hardest, uh, transformation in life Mm-hmm. She gave me so much trouble in life, but at the same time she give me so much happiness. And I serve her combo I serve her medicine to treat her past alcohol addiction and, uh, past situation what happened with her in her life. She was paralyzed in the past. She had three surgeries on her stomach, um, deep surgeries with, uh, long anesthesia. And, um, I knew that kamba have to be in her blood. Mm-hmm. She needs that medicine because to help her to treat her liver fully, to treat her body from the old toxins she had from alcohol. So it was my big idea, and when I come back, I immediately told her about all of the benefits from medicine, all of the peptides and how it help her. It was challenge for her, but she have it done three days in a row. I'm proud of her. And then all my friends, my boyfriend,

all my friends and family become to be my first clients with... for who I was telling the story how perfect this medicine is and started to sort of ride a wave with the confidence and full dedication, and I fall in love to that process. And one day, I just realized, wow, I am in United States. I'm serving such a powerful medicine from Amazon, medicine which changing people lives, and I'm so much feeling myself in my right spot where I should be. And you're happy. And I'm happy, and that time when I realize it, at the same moment, I let go all the past and all of the Kazakhstan success. And I told to myself, "You know, all this time I was feeling that I lost something in my coun- country, that I lost all my life. But looks like I'm not lost." Mm. "I got even more. I got even more that I left the country, I come here, and I found this beautiful stuff,"

which I would never find in Kazakhstan Uh, which also in my way, by my story with depression and addiction, I become too grateful for all of that journey and all of the stuff happened with me, and I just feel... I just felt, "Oh my God, I got more than I think I lost." But it's not material stuff. It's more It's more important stuff for my inner peace and my soul and my heart Hmm. So now since Kambo School, you've also learned... Y- you've, you've gone-- you've learned how to facilitate other medicines as well. Yes. I become interesting with, um, a lot of stuff. I try by myself so many different experience, and the best one which I loved, I bring to my life- Mm-hmm as a facilitator. Beautiful. So-

Where does life go from here? And all psychedelics open inside of me my artistic part, and I, um, built a studio in Los Angeles downtown, a jungle in the center of downtown. This is your healing space. This is my healing space and my artistic spot where I do my art, where I serve medicine, where I do sound healing, yoga practice, aromamagic therapy, and all of my artistic parts. So I bring to that, um, place all of, all my imagination. It's a lot of plants, more than 100 plants around and a lot of beautiful lights. Um, and, um, altar for amphibian medicine, of course. Um, and, and just in general, altar... All that spot like an altar, and that spot I create for my personal integration. So that, that place is a place where I create, where I just sit and read my books or I create my paintings or I work with my yoga practice or I film my content, uh, or I just wanna

be alone and listen music. So I create that spot, and that spot started to be a healing, uh, spot for other people, not only for me. So it started like my integrational place, my integration spot, and then started be my medicine office. And now I fully dedicate my life to serving medicine. This is what you do full time. This is what I, what I do full time. Now, you, you're also, uh, facilitating retreats in Joshua Tree? Yes. I facilitate retreats in Joshua Tree, um, especially and usually for IT people. That's happened some days that someone recommend me here and there, and this happens that my circle become like, uh, IT people. And, uh, usually I serve private retreats by they, um, questions, what they want, what they needs. So I create private retreat with a program what they wanted to have. S-specific to the person. Specific to the person. Okay. And then later I create my, um, personal retreat, like my idea, a self-love retreat

for girls, uh- Every three months I do that in Joshua Tree. It's like a retreat, pleasure of life. It's a lot of So if, if somebody wanted to go through one of your retreats, essentially you, you talk to them, they explain what they're going through, where they're trying, or maybe what they're trying to achieve in life. But based on the information that they give you, you specify that retreat specific to their needs. Yes. Plus I just, uh, finished my school with psychedelic integrational coaching and plus sitters training, so I become certified, uh, coach. And, um, first, uh, I work with people by coaching them. And through that process, I, um, know what the problem is, what do they need, how can I help them, and we discuss all of that. And from that point, after I work with them as an integrational coaching, uh, as an integrational coach, then the next step they coming to my retreats, to my programs, and that's how it started.

And then also after that, after retreats, I help to my people to integrate the experience they got from there. Beautiful. Now, are you working with mostly Russian-speaking people, or are you working with Americans as well? Because your English has gotten quite good over the last eight years. Thank you, Jason. Uh, so I started with Russian community, of course, because when I met medicine, my f- my heart was full of love to share with people, and I started to talk about it, and they all actually was looking for my life, how I changed, um, everything around me, how I changed my job, my lifestyle, my daily routine life, um, how I look like. So I just become a light of life. Wow. A ball of love.

And, uh, so my first surround people, my close people who surround me, so they notice that. They starting to asking me and started from there, and then they recommend me, and started to grow, and then I started to work just with my, uh, community, Russian people. And, uh, you actually are the person who helped me to go out from my comfort zone. Uh, during Kambo School, I came to you. That time I also was on the school of my yoga practice, also with American community and Kambo School. And, um, this time was for me, like, going out of my comfort zone and started to do the stuff I have done only for Russian community, for American people, for people who speak English. And I started to serve Kambo to, uh, American people. And, um, and I started to serve Kambo to English speakers because after your course, I get the whole information, and I become practiced to talk about the medicine in English during your

school. Mm-hmm. And that was a big point because when I come back to, uh, LA and I started to serve Kambo, even for my Russian community, for me, it was more comfortable to talk in English because all the information I learn in English, and I realize, "Oh my God, look, I can work with English speakers." And it started. And it started with me, and it was a big point of my grow in United States. That's why I'm so grateful to you. Wow. You have an incredible story. From political asylum to depression, to finding your bottom, you know, and then finding the medicines, climbing out, and then finding a new version of success. You should be proud. I'm proud so much of my way and how I handle all of that, and I also proud and grateful for people who I met s- and includes you so much. You means a lot for me and, uh, your school. That's why I'm coming back here the third

time- and when I come back every time I can. Uh, and now after eight years in United States and after all of this journey of my life, I realize the biggest Insight that in Kazakhstan, uh, the stuff which I lost, I'm so grateful for that because without that lost, I would never find what I found. Mm. And, um, all my material world changed inside of me, all of my visions to life, all of my idea of happiness, all of that stuff which usually system putting on us, telling us how it should be, how life should be. On Instagram, on social media, all of the success and fake happiness, it's all that just falling apart inside of my mind, and I started to rebuild, uh, what is life and happiness and success for me now. And I realized that I found my peace with medicine, and all of the stuff I lost in Kazakhstan, it was just investment to where I am right now. It's almost

like you had to be completely lost to truly find yourself. Yes. That what's happened with me fully. Mm-hmm. Well, Alana, it's a beautiful story, and it's very inspiring, especially to people, you know, when we're at our bottom, when we feel like we're at our rock bottom, i-i-it can feel hopeless, and, you know, it can feel like there's no way out. So stories like yours, who have gone through so much and overcame and, and still found success, you know, through these trials, it's absolutely incredible. So before we wrap it up, before we bring this podcast to an end, but, you know, when I have a facilitator on, because, you know, those of us that, that get to serve the medicine, that are lucky enough to be able to do this, you know, we, we meet all kinds of people. We see all kinds of experiences, all kinds of transformations that a lot of other people don't get to see. So the question is, from, you know,

this amount of time that you've been serving medicine, what's the most transformational change that, that you've seen s- in somebody you've served? My mom My mom, because the story of her life is hard. She lost her love, my stepfather, in front of our home. Someone killed him. I was 18 that time, and from that day, she become addicted of alcohol so much. And, um, in few years, she was paralyzed and didn't walk, didn't talk. From, from the alcohol abuse? From the alcohol abuse, yeah, and because of that loss of her, um- Husband husband and my stepfather. He raised me from one year old. He become my father. I call him father. It was a big, big loss for both of us. That time, I didn't talk half year. I was just quiet. It was my trauma. She also was traumatized a lot. She blamed herself, and she become addicted. And in a few years, I found herself almost died, paralyzed, and I started to help

her to be healthy. But doctors told us that she won't live long. She was, like, 40 kilograms, just bones and skin, and I help her with, uh, all her physical needs and everything. And I spent almost, uh, five years to bring her to her normal life, to teach her how to walk, how to eat, how to talk, and I spent so much money to pay for her surgeries to treat her body and be normal again. And, um, finally, she recover some way, somehow. And, uh, she started to be normal physically, but not so much normal mentally because of three big surgery and long anesthesia. Uh, something happened with her mind, and also it's, um, so much for her body was, um, physically so much illness inside of her. And when-- And then when I moved to US, I cannot to bring her the same time because I was in trouble. I don't have money. I just have to go as soon as, as fun, as,

as fa- as fast as I can. And I bring her later, my mom, to US. I bring her two years ago. And the time when I bring her, remember my dream was to serve her, to show her medicine. So my dream was to show her medicine, and that time when I bring her, uh, I decided, yeah, she need, she needs this healing so much because all of her past, uh, all of these toxins in her liver because she had the cancer, she have li- liver cirrhosis and, uh, a lot of other stuff. Um, and mentally she needs so much help. So I showed her some beautiful medicine which I work with, include kombu. And during that time when I was helping her

To heal, um, some situation happened when she stand up and told me, "Oh my God, I just remembered some situation from my childhood," which traumatized, uh, her so much, and she's starting to telling me in details what exactly happened in her childhood, and how it's affected to her whole life, to all her happiness, and everything. And she told me that she forgot that part. Her psyche hided that to protect her. And, uh, telling that story to me, I got a puzzle of what's going on with my mom because like I told you, she wasn't normal, um, mentally because she kinda stuck in her

teenager time, kinda some trauma stuck her there, and he was, um, like adult by her how she looks like, but her mind was like a teenager mind. Mm-hmm. And after the day when she told me about that story, which she remembered, uh, and I was calming her down next few hours, and we was breathing together, and let her go that situation, and cry. After that situation, in my... In front of my eyes, next few months, I was noticing and I was witnessing how she become grow to her adult mind- Mm-hmm from that situation when the trauma show up, and we work with that. We got it. We discuss it. We saw it. We remember it. Something shifted inside of her, and she become grow to her adult mind. Do you understand? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I was witnessing that- It's like she was, she was stuck in her adolescence. Like, she was stuck as a... Like, with a, a teenager-type mentality or a very young mentality,

and now you're starting to see the adult mental acuity come back again. Yeah. Where she become again responsible for life, for all the stuff, because I was paying for everything 18 years. I was totally like, mm, like a man in the house. So I was paying for everything. She didn't work. The provider. Provider, yes. So she didn't work 18 years, and I was paying for everything. But after that- In like it takes her a few months, uh, to integrate that experience which she got, and in the six months she get her first job in United States, and it's her first job for the last 18 years. And it's happened in front of my eyes, her transformational time, and now she making her own money. She's saving that money for her dreams, and, um, we so much connected like never before, and it's just the beauty of my life, and it's the best what I can have. Wow, so you got your life back and, and

then with the help of the medicines, you were able to help your mom get her life back and accomplish her version of success, chasing her own dreams. Yes. Yes, and that, um, dream which I got from my first ayahuasca to show my mom this beautiful world become, come true, and, um, that is the best blessings in my life I have. Mm-hmm. It's an incredible story, Atlana. It's a beautiful story of, you know, loss and triumph and, and then paying it forward, sharing the gift with others so that they can experience the same level of happiness and success that, you know, these medicines have done for you. Well done. Yeah. Thank you. So if people want to get a hold of you, if they want to reach you because they're interested in your services, what's the best way for people to find you? So I have my Instagram, which I just create in English, and I called it amphibianwoman, and I was inspired by Jason. Amphibianwoman.

Amphibianwoman. I was inspired by you. And, uh, on the top of the Instagram, I have link to my website with all of my service I do, with my coaching stuff, and all of this information over there. And yeah, you can find me on Instagram. Okay. For those interested, you can find Atlana @amphibianwoman on Instagram. Mm-hmm. Thank you for being here. It has been such a pleasure, not just talking to you today, but really watching the, at least the piece of the journey that I got to see. And, you know, to see where you've come, to see what you've done, and to see where you're going, it's, it's inspiring to so many, including myself. Thank you, Jason. I... And I wanna also say that you are big person in my life. You're a big teacher in my life. I'm so happy I met you, and thank you for all of this, um, lessons and, uh, wisdom you gave me, and all of your knowledges and all

of your dedication. It really means a lot, and I'm so happy that you taught me how to even make a fire. It's so special. It's such a simple stuff, but it's so special for my heart- Mm because even my, my dad didn't show me that. It's important, it's big, and it feels what, what we need, like such a simple stuff in our life, and thank you for everything you have done for me. It means a lot. I love you. No, I love you. Thank you. All right, everybody, till next time. Yoo-hoo.